He had expected many things, on his way to Andy's camp.

That aside.

"No shit you did! Went Bewear wrestling without me or something?! Why are you not at the hospital?!" Said Doug as he dropped to his knees besides Andy, eyes wide as he surveyed the damage. From shoulder to hip bone, across his entire back.

What in the blazes had he been up to? His gaze snapped to Epitath. With all the crap Andy had all over the place, sure he had a-

"First Aid Kit, Now!" He said, much more forceful than usual. The circumstances called for it, and Doug didn't deal well with stressful situations anyway.

So much for a calm night teasing the other kid; he would be lucky to get a wink of sleep just thinking of what could have happened.

"What manner of stupid shit did ya get up to in less than 24 hours?!" He hissed as he looked over the damage, taking off his hat and throwing it over his shoulders, beginning to peel back his shirt's sleeves. "Where's the bathroom? I need water and soap!"

Battlefield first aid training, don't fail him now!

---

TAG: Andy Blackadder

"Uh Huh. I'll be the judge of that." He said, though just the words and tone alone suggested that he had calmed down a bit. Still, he gave the other youth a pointed look. "Don'cha move a muscle."

He scrambled back to his feet and fell in line with Epitaph, following into the bathroom. As the ghost hopefully searched for the first aid kit, Doug was quick to wash and disinfect his hands thoroughly.

The proof that he really had bought into Andy's bs excuse were his next words.

"Where does one even get one o' these?" He said, incredulously staring at the sink as if he had just now realized that he was in what appeared to be a fully functional bathroom.

No wonder Andy's camp was practically stationary- dude would need a moving crew to get it anywhere.

Back to the task at hand, the youth came out of the bathroom shortly after, hopefully with the first aid kit in hand if Epitaph was feeling kind.

"Andy, honey, when you invited me 'ere I thought I was comin' camping, not crashin' your bachelor's pad. Would've skimpier pajamas-" He managed to say with a barely held together snort, before soberin' up at the sight of the other youth once again.


"Awright." He said as he kneeled again near Andy, opening the kid and immediately putting on the disposable gloves. "Let's see this mess. Did the hunt at least go well?"

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TAG: Andy Blackadder

"Offer yer hand next time." He said wryly, popping the kit opening while eying the youth's bruise.

He was surprised that this, bad as it looked, was as much as Andy got. Must have been a clip.

"Awright, on secon' viewing it ain't as bad as I first thought." he said, grasping an empty ice pack inside the kit before making his way towards the refrigerator/freezer. "It ain't gonna be magical but an ice pack will prob' do wonders for it."

Swinging the freezer open, the hick boy swiped a couple handfuls of ice into the pack before going back to his friend, dropping to his knees besides the bed once again.

"This might hurt." Was about all the warning the other youth got before the cold pack was unceremoniously, if gently, pressed to the bruise.

---

TAG: Andy Blackadder

He couldn't fault Andy for not going for the obvious route. Thinking straight was hard when you were in pain, and his pokemon weren't going to pull first aid knowledge out of their ass. There were no Ghost-type Chanseys.

"Yeah, better do that. Will make my job easier too." He said as he pulled the ice pack away for a spell, letting the other youth reposition himself before bringing it back into place once more.

There wasn't a whole lot left to be done. Doug wasn't a magician and his best healer, Bae, was currently tending to his garden.

Sooo...

"Ass first's as classy as it gets in Galar then, huh?" Doug said casually after a short while, managing to maintain a straight face for about a second before cracking up, a snort leaving his throat.

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TAG: Andy Blackadder

At that, Doug cracked up, his laughter ringing through the portable apartment thing Andy had made his home.

"Fair'nuff! Sounds like an airtight policy." He said, and almost managed to keep a straight face for more than fives seconds. Rather impressive a feat, if he did say so himself.

Dragging his eyes around the spacious, well put together place that most certainly blew his tent out of the water, the youth shrugged casually and smirked, winking.

"Eh, it's not bad... but come on, where's the sense of adventure in sleeping somewhere that wouldn't get torn away by weather alone?" He said, chuckling. "It's pretty amazing. Me tent's awready too cramped with both me and m'grandpa trying to fit inside. Never seen one o'these on any Marts, though. Where the heck did you pull this out of?"

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TAG: Andy Blackadder

"Outta my wallet's range, gotcha." Doug said after Andy mentioned its many professional uses, laughing slightly.

To make a long answer short, it was because Doug was poor as dirt and Andy was filthy rich. The youth realized a few words in that it was the kind of luxury item his bank account would not have enough zeroes for any time this decade.

"Would love to try it, but somebody's gotta hol' this proper to yer back." He said, placing an elbow atop the futton before dropping his chin on his palm, yawning. "Will be a bit longer 'fore we can get the pajama party started, m'fraid."

They were in for a long night, it seemed.

"Did'cha know I've been trying to get expelled for the past 6 months?" He said after a few moments of silence, getting much too uncomfortable with his own thoughts.

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TAG: Andy Blackadder

"Boy." Doug said, breathing in deep and puffing up his cheeks before blowing out air, laughing. "With an answer like that, yer definitely gonna hate it when I tell ya that I was actually not being entirely truthful... I already succeeded a while back."

Sometime between meeting Andy, and their date, this young man had managed to get himself kicked out of school. With some help.

As for why, though?

"Why indeed?" Doug said in what he hoped sounded like a philosophical tone, grasping at his chin thoughtfully with his one free hand. "Too bored, waste o' time, had to look after myself and granpa, was getting tired o' just being a victim. I'm spoiled for choice'ere."

Even if none of those were right. He wasn't about to go ahead and share his inner conflicts. That was completely unconducive to his self-repressive, ignore-your-problems ways.

"I got my chance and I took it without thinking twice, so I don't regret it too much." He said, before leaning his head onto his free hand.

"Didn't even matter anyway." He said. "If I had been in highschool, they would've required me to finish first."

And the punchline was.

"Since I wasn't, they made me go take a highschool Equivalency Exam instead."

Apparently, there really were no consequences to being expelled from highschool for relatively minor offenses, provided you were smart enough to pass the equivalency exams.

Or cheated with the help of your psychic, 6 mile radius telepath bug.

"Karma's comin' for me one o'these days." He said with another laugh, before smirking at Andy. "All that aside... What'cha mean droolin'? Ya think I can't make it big in this shit fest of n'army?"

He pouted at Andy, he of little faith.

"I expect a written apology when I make it General."

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TAG: Andy Blackadder